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redfoxtac's picture
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Last seen: 8 weeks 2 days ago
Joined: 10/10/2010:51
Posts: 98

so my birthday is getting closer and i tend to get more darker as it gets closer. no one to hang out with with. no friends, my mother and father are working. no party at the end of the day, and not even a damn card. i always feel left out on my birthday. my mother is a drunk and she always tells me "dont worry, we will have your party at the end of the month". i bet she was pissed drunk when she said that. i always feel left out. if i can get my motorcycle working i just might go missing all day. no internet or facebook or ANYTHING. just go for a long motorcycle ride with a box of matches to waste 24 matches for each of my birthdays. whats the point in celebrating one year closer to my death? and with my father being a police officer i KNOW he will be working all day and my mother will just go right to the bar after work for the rest of her day. and where will i be? maybe getting piss drunk at a bar myself. now i dont drink! like 2 beers and thats is. i dont want to end up like my mother. i dont even tell people that its my birthday. i dont go out to a bar and go "yeah its my birthday!" cause i just try to forget about it.

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Swift Fox's picture
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Last seen: 9 hours 29 min ago
Joined: 11/14/2005:12
Posts: 865

First off...HAPPY WHELPDAY!!!...whenever that is this month.

Hopefully this post will reach someone, or a few someones, in your area will chime in and see if they can't hook up with you.

Better yet, try and plan something yourself and invite some locals to join you.  Yeah, I know, birthdays should be special things planned by others.  That's what we've been raised to expect.  But eventually you hit an age where you transition into the day being something you gather friends around you to celebrate and make new memories.

Maybe an outing to go see a movie and grab dessert afterward?  Mini-golf?  Ice cream?  Figure out something you think would be special.

Birthdays like the one you're describing won't always be like that.  Yes, you're celebrating one year closer to your own demise (Dog I remember feeling that way myself) but it also means a year closer to dreams, personal stability, a future that holds so many wonderful things that in time you will find and embrace.

I hope you find a way to have a happy birthday this year, and every year.

*Hugs*

Swift

 

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*hugs*

Swift Fox

Table-top Gaming Track Head; Anthrocon 2017 tabletop.gaming AT anthrocon.org www.anthrocon.org&

Former Chairperson of WPAFW ('01-'12)

Organizer of Pittsburgh First Night

redfoxtac's picture
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Last seen: 8 weeks 2 days ago
Joined: 10/10/2010:51
Posts: 98

thank you. its in 6 days. see the only thing about me is that i SUCK at soical interaction in person. i havfe autisim and it its really hard for me to soicalize with others without a computer. even at my job too i say the dumbest things and my co workers just laugh at me. they even wrote "Todd is Odd" on the white board in the back office (my real name is Todd) and after that day i just kept to myself. i NEVER had friends cause of my mental illness. they would just ditch me, and pretend i am not home and make me do stupid things for their enjoyment. so mate searching is a pain to do with me. i was seeing guys at one point but i am started to feel more attracted to girls. i only know guy things too! so interacting with a girl will leave me at the bar "nice day, huh?" "you have a good one." i dont want to say the wrong thing and screw something up. i dont know what i am doing wrong with the whole dating thing...

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was it you? Or was it me? Is this a nightmare or just a dream?

Swift Fox's picture
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Last seen: 9 hours 29 min ago
Joined: 11/14/2005:12
Posts: 865

Socially awkward? Isn't that like, a requirement to be in this fandom? Smile

Believe me when I say we all go though those moments when we do and say the wrong thing.  Co-workers can be real cliquish dumbashes.  But real friends like you for who you are no matter what.  But you gotta put yourself out there to let folks be your friend, and without making friends, you'll have a hard time finding Mister or Missus Right.

As for having a mental illness...what is the statistic now?  60% of the population has some kind of mental illness, but only 20% of those are undergoing treatment?  The right folks will come along.  I do more listening than talking myself personally.  Mom told me I have two ears and one mouth so I'll listen twice as much as I talk. Smile

Try to stay positive.  You may feel like you're in a bit of a rut right now, but that's not forever. Your time to florish will come.

*Hugs*

Swift

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*hugs*

Swift Fox

Table-top Gaming Track Head; Anthrocon 2017 tabletop.gaming AT anthrocon.org www.anthrocon.org&

Former Chairperson of WPAFW ('01-'12)

Organizer of Pittsburgh First Night

redfoxtac's picture
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Last seen: 8 weeks 2 days ago
Joined: 10/10/2010:51
Posts: 98

thank you. its in 6 days. see the only thing about me is that i SUCK at soical interaction in person. i havfe autisim and it its really hard for me to soicalize with others without a computer. even at my job too i say the dumbest things and my co workers just laugh at me. they even wrote "Todd is Odd" on the white board in the back office (my real name is Todd) and after that day i just kept to myself. i NEVER had friends cause of my mental illness. they would just ditch me, and pretend i am not home and make me do stupid things for their enjoyment. so mate searching is a pain to do with me. i was seeing guys at one point but i am started to feel more attracted to girls. i only know guy things too! so interacting with a girl will leave me at the bar "nice day, huh?" "you have a good one." i dont want to say the wrong thing and screw something up. i dont know what i am doing wrong with the whole dating thing...

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was it you? Or was it me? Is this a nightmare or just a dream?

Ritsuka's picture
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Last seen: 6 weeks 2 days ago
Joined: 10/24/2011:47
Posts: 40

wow,that actually sucks, happy early bday,i'd hang out with ya if i still lived in the area,but im in mountville now

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Last seen: 10 weeks 8 hours ago
Joined: 07/13/2017:25
Posts: 10

omg, i use to live in schuylkill county.

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Last seen: 10 weeks 8 hours ago
Joined: 07/13/2017:25
Posts: 10

Well the hardest thing in "the skook" (man i hate people saying that) is that being a furry is not a great thing. There is nothing around to find others easily and to mention it will really get shit going another way. GL. I use to be from Buck Run and Branch Township. Lived in Pottsville a few years.

I only know 1 other furry ever in Minersville.

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Ritsuka's picture
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Last seen: 6 weeks 2 days ago
Joined: 10/24/2011:47
Posts: 40

funny i run into more skook furs AFTER i leave it lol

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Last seen: 10 weeks 8 hours ago
Joined: 07/13/2017:25
Posts: 10

thats how it seems to me too hahaha

i hate the slang Skook though cause that words is not a good word in the way other racial slurs are used. Young people just somehow took it and tried to make it good. Its a derogatory word to refer to people from that county.

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Ritsuka's picture
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Last seen: 6 weeks 2 days ago
Joined: 10/24/2011:47
Posts: 40

true, and i never say it lol

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